Our work softball team played their forth softball game last night loosing 18 to 2 against the First Baptist team.  For the record, I didn’t play.  I generally don’t play sports at all but once uniforms get involved its become way too serious for me.  They’ve got shirts.

Even though 18 to 2 is a big loss its worth saying that thirteen of those runs occured in the top of the first and we had our “second string” starting. 

My favorite play occured in that first inning when ClientN threw the ball home where not one, not two but three of our infield players had gone to assist the catcher.  It looked like we were taking a fortress defense, the Red Rover stradegy.  When ClientN threw the ball, all four of the girls missed it bringing in not one but two runs as they chased down the throw.

I sat in the stands with DAS, JW and a few former employees.  We probably had a total of fifteen people in the stands, much more than the opposing team.  We screamed and cheered like it was a major league game.  I wanted to heckle but when you’re down by sixteen points you really can’t talk a lot of trash.

Last week at work I started introducing two new catch phrases a week.� People are actually using them from time to time!� To help spread the word I’m going to start posting them here for all to enjoy.� This post will have four as we’ve got to get caught up.� But from now on their should be only two and they should come on Mondays.� We’ll see if I can keep up.

A few more notes.� These are not all original and credit will be given when possible.� Generally credit will be given to whomever I heard say it.� If someone else said it first please feel free to correct me.

Here we go.

• “I’m not really in to Pokemon.” This is to be used to in response to something someone has said that you either don’t understand, don’t care about or want to dismiss all together.� Use it carefully, it tends to make people feel small.� (XKCD)
• “Well, monkeys are pretty forgiving.” This can be used whenever anyone questions what you’re doing.
• “Foods Papa!” to be used in place of any swear words
• “Man that’s corduory!” (S-h)

That’s it for this week’s.� Use them until your co-workers threaten to kill you.� “Foods Papa that’s harsh!”

“It’s like accidentally shooting yourself in the foot; you just want to avoid doing it.� It’s like accidentally falling off a cliff.� It’s bad, real bad.� You don’t want to do it.” - S the Trainer.

I’ve changed jobs at work and this has required me to go back into training.� I’m still a team supervisor just for a diffrent client.� Training is always boring, always frustrating.� This time is no exception.

Here are some highlights:

• A was wearing a Bob Marley t-shirt today.� Someone saw her shirt and started talking about Mr. Marley.� A asked who Bob Marley was, not even realizing that she was wearing a t-shirt with him on it.
• Class started at 2:00.� C asked for a smoke break at 2:07.

I’m sure there will be more stupidity to come.

We had some fun at work this week.

JD is sort of obsessive. That’s an understatement actually. Here are a few examples:

My first run in was when I ran into him in the bathroom. He was washing his hands when I walked in, washing his hands as I did my business (number one if you must know) and washing his hands as I washed my hands and left.

He quit using the microwaves in the breakroom at work, fearing bacteria. Now he doesn’t use them at all fearing what it does to his food.

A few weeks ago someone who he sees as ‘unclean’ touched his back. He changed his shirt. He used to hide his chair when he wasn’t at his desk so no one could sit in it.

One day this week, I took a few klenex, wadded it up and left them on his desk before he came in.

The second one actually hasn’t taken place yet. D and I are going to get B a subscription to Out magazine. (D tells me that Out comes in an unmarked cover. That’s strange for a magazine called Out.)

Here are some subjects I would have posted on if I’d been posting:

• North Korea set off a nuke…sort of. What no one is talking about is that their test failed.� I sort of feel like we should take an approach similar to that of Trey Parker and Matt Stone in Team America: World Police. Just mock them.
• My friend A told me this joke he made up: Did you hear that Congress is trying to ban bookmarks?� They prefer�bending over the pages.
• My nephew has suggested my sister paint her Pacifica like the Studebaker in the Muppet Movie.
• Yesterday was bosses day and I teased my team about how they didn’t love me.� Today I came into a cereal Fun Pack, a Chug of 2% milk and disposable bowls and spoons.� Thanks M and J!

I’m going to try and start taking a few minutes each day to post a bit, but I can’t make any promises.� I am at work after all.

I’m also going to be turning off comments until regular postings resume.� I’m getting loads of comment spam.

Later.

So it’s been over a week since my last post. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you, my loyal readers, but due to a hectic week at work I decided to take a bit of time off from the blog. As far as last week’s Sunday Sampler goes…I just didn’t feel like it I guess.

This week has been quite an adventure. On Monday night I was over at R’s house when T called. A friend had taken a fall while holding her son A. The friend had gone to the hospital and T was really, really upset. I headed over to calm her down and help ensure the child was okay.

When I arrived A was in bed. I decided that we should wake him up so I could really check on him. Have you ever tried to wake up a four year old after only twenty minutes of sleep? Let’s just say that a sleeping four year old is just a willful as an alert one. After what seemed to be too long he finally started responding to us, answering questions and looking at us long enough for us to see his pupils seemed to be the same size. We let him go back to sleep but woke him again thirty minutes later; that really pissed him off.

I went home not long after the second awakening. As I lay in bed that night, I kept thinking about calling T and telling her to wake the boy, I was going to take them to the hospital. I didn’t. The next day at work T told me he was fine the next morning but was in a pretty bad mood.

Today at work I confessed to M and A that I’d dressed in drag on three seperate occassions; twice in my Lee University days and once for a church skit. They were very excited when I told them I had photos of one of the parties. We went inside and this photo was a huge hit. C said: “You should go back to that look.” A said: “I wouldn’t have picked you out of that photo if you hadn’t said you were in drag.”

Finally, just to get caught up on this week: This made me laugh, this made me think (though the comments do a good job of destroying his proof) and this made me want one.

We’ll have a sampler tomorrow.

Today I went into J’s office to get away from the stresses of my job for a few minutes. He was messing with my boss C - giving her a hard time about her swearing too much. Though it goes against my policy of using real names on the blog, I think it’s too good not to share.

There once was a lady named Crystal
She really was quite a pistol.
If I had a dollar
For each curse word she hollered
By noon I’d have a fist full.

We’ll kick off this week’s Sampler with a little bit of stillspinning news. We got our very first comment spam this week. I’m glad to see we’ve caught the eyes of spammers - it means we’ve managed to get found my people who didn’t get a link.

Okay, and awayyyy we go.

• There’s a new girl on my team at work, M. M reminds me of me when I was in high school; it is actually sort of scary. M sends me her daily report she always includes a short message. The last two have been really good. “I say squee” and “Doing a German Dance”.
• The Canadian and Dutch have been in an on-going land dispute over a piece of rock sitting near the Artic Ocean. Both nations have sent officals and troops to the rock, though thus far the battle has been limited to bits of litter representing each nation’s culture. Maybe the UN should send sAme peace keeping troops to keep things under control. (source)

Sorry there wasn’t a lot for this week’s sampler.? Maybe next week…

I back to work to get my medicine this evening.? I stopped by my boss’ office to say hello and she told me she was buying some software:

“I’m going to buy some grammar tutoring software for our less grammarfied agents.”