I used to hate math but the older I get the more I see the attraction of a system of rules and logic that make for predictable solutions. My job has forced me to embrace math in ways I’d never imagined possible. I’m responsible for making sure all the numbers line up; financials, performance indicators and staffing all rest on my shoulders and all boil down to equations in a spreadsheet. Maybe I should say I heart Excel….

My improved relationship with the mathematics has influenced my sense of humor as well. I actually get some of the math jokes in XKCD comics, I used a math joke in my Facebook status update the other day (Jeremy is thinking of a number between Absolute 0 and the square root of -1) and, though not really math, I think Craig Damrauer’s New Math site is one of the funniest websites I’ve ever seen.

Selected favorites:

Layed off = It’s not you, it’s me + Job
Nepotism = Who’s your daddy / Ability
Brunch = Breakfast + Lunch + Cantaloupe
Good Dog = Bark / Bite
Bad Dog = Bite / Bark
Uncle = Dad + Fun
Credit Card = I can’t afford it – I can’t afford it
Good Meeting = (Time Saved / Time Wasted) + Snacks
Bad Meeting = (Time Wasted / Time Saved) + Snacks
Car Jacking = Can I borrow your car? – No you can’t
Life Insurance = God Forbid + Jackpot!

I got promoted at work; promoted to the job I’ve been doing for the past year and a half. I’m ordering a nameplate for my office door tomorrow. That’ll show ‘em.

I picked up a nasty bug from my niece and nephew over Christmas. I’m mostly over it now but I’m working from home to prevent the spread and stay close to a bathroom.

I’m networked in to my work PC so I can see what’s going on at work and I’m running Outlook on my home PC to give me quick access to emails. Every time I get an email at work I have two audible notifications from my computer, two pop-ups on my computer and an alert on my mobile in the other room.

I was on my way out the door. So close and yet, now an hour later, still so far away. We had an outage at work that, for at least a few minutes, took out our network connectivity. I verified that we were back up and was about to leave when my boss called and asked that I join the outage bridge.

I’ve been on the call for thirty minutes and the only piece of informaiton they needed from me was obtained in the first thirty seconds I was on the call.

Awesome.

I normally don’t remember my dreams. In fact there are only a few that I can look back on that I’ve ever remembered beyond a few seconds after I woke up. Both of these were very vivid and were still quite clear when I woke.

The first took place in what was meant to be the site in San Angelo. I was giving a building tour to two people from the Oak Ridge site. We checked in at Security and my badge from when I was working in Texas was in the pile, though in the dream it was just a piece of laminated paper with my name on it. The building, as I said, was only meant to be San Angelo but looked more like the sites in West Virginia – we were looking for two of the staff members from Texas though. We got on the elevator and it started to take us up to the sixth floor. After a few seconds the elevator jolted to a stop and the floor indicator read “tilt.” Then the elevator car began to turn towards the doors and went into a free fall.

The second took place on Edgemore road between Solway and Bull Run, just past the boat launch. I was in a boat, alone at first then with someone from work. A police officer came by and asked if we have a fishing permit. We told him we weren’t fishing but he insisted we needed the license. As we got out the boat tipped. My co-worker righted the boat while I went to get a fishing permit. When I got to my car there was a deer carcass, mutilated from being hit by a car, on the roof of my car. Across the street Cindy, a girl from work, had stopped to laugh at me before she went to get the paperwork the policeman needed, leaving me to take care of the deer situation on my own.

Like I said, I don’t normally remember my dreams. These two are in my head though. I was actually scared about coming to work today and we don’t even have elevators.

[You] should say that you’re back in Texas for a bit longer… you’ve got a great opportunity to write something about the similarities and differences. I’ve been in some sort of bizzaro-world for a little while where everyone I meet who wants to comment on my accent wants to talk about Texas. Not New York or Florida, as usual, but Texas. Yee-hah. I just tell them, yep, well Tennessee and Texas are ideologically and alphabetically next to each other.

The building I work in while in Texas is six stories and my office is on the top floor.  I found myself alone with the security guard in the lobby waiting for the elevator.  The guard, looking straight ahead said; “Yup.”  All I could say was “Mmm-hmm.”  I felt like Boomhauer from King of the Hill.  (Okay, okay, I’m really more of a Dale.)

And from what I’ve seen King of the Hill is not that bad of a starting point when it comes to understanding Texas. The older neighborhoods have alleys so driveways and garages are on the back of the houses, just like on KOTH, there are big white water towers and propane tanks, pick-ups are nearly even with cars in number and…get this, the local exterminating company owns the minor league arena football team.

San Angelo has about a hundred thousand people, maybe a bit more.  It’s home to San Angelo State, Goodfellow Air Force Base, and is currently the center of the FLDS madness. The surrounding country side is mostly farm land.  I read in the paper today that cotton planting season is about to begin.  In the city there is of course Sitel, my purpose for being here, as well as Verizon and Blue Cross call centers, and a few collection agencies.

I found a baby cage like they had in the nursery at the Iroquois Avenue church in Oak Ridge in a thrift store. It was $45.  I bet the church paid a lot more for theirs.

The NPR Station comes out of Austin and is about a billion times better than Knoxville’s.  They have the normal shows (Morning Edition, All Things Considered, etc) and when they’re not playing those they play music.  Not classical or jazz but music people actually want to listen to.  I’ve heard Steve Earle, Dwight Yokum, Allison Krauss, and a new discovery for me, She and Him.  It’s NPR that I would actually consider donating to.  It’s that good.

I’m going home tomorrow.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so ready to see my wonderful Tennessee hills again.  I can’t wait.  Just 20 Hours to go.  I…don’t…know…if…I…can…make…it….

This has been a hard week.  As I left the office in Tennessee I was leaving behind a big transfer of staff from one project to another.  I had hoped that I’d left that behind.  After one easy week we had to start the same process in the Texas office and once again, the process fell to me.  I’ve been stressed.

To add to the stress I had my first sit down with my new boss.  It wasn’t bad.  He actually relieved a bit of my stress instead of adding to it.  We talked about his expectations, what his plans are for me and what my plans are for me.

All in all…it was a day.

I’ve been in Texas for a little over a week now and since I promised I’d blog while I was here, I guess I need to get on that.

I’m in San Angelo, a town suddenly on everyone’s lips thanks to the FLDS folks a few miles away.  There’s a CNN van parked in the hotel parking lot and there’s not a hotel room to be had in this town.  The kids from the compound are being held about three miles up the road at the convention center.  Until recently they were being held at an old fort a bit further out but after the kids’ mothers’ started complaining that the facilities were sub-par.  Whatever.  They’re a bunch of crazies.

A woman a work said that she has a neighbor who has been working with some of the kids.  She said that two pregnant, twelve-year-old girls were upset that they were, most likely, not going to be allowed to return to their husband(s) to raise their kids.  These teen girls think of themselves as adults.

Aside from the media madness San Angelo is a quiet little city.  There’s right around a hundred-thousand people but the city offers the shopping, entertainment and dining of a much larger town.  There’s a mall, though not a very big one, two Wal-Marts, a Target, a Best Buy and the rest of discount stores.  It’s still seeing a lot of growth and, in typical Texas fashion, they’re creating some pretty crazy sprawl.  The strangest thing I’ve seen is that many of the apartment complexes require you to drive through a commercial parking lot to get to the apartments.  It’s enough to make me not want to rent.

The site is quite a bit different that Oak Ridge.  First of all, the site is located in a six-story building.  We occupy, and own, the entire facility.  My office is on the top floor where I manage five coaches and around sixty agents.  There are support people who do almost every task that I was taught would be my responsibility.  I spent a lot of time working with my staff on a one-on-one level.  I have a counterpart who works on the forth floor and, thus far, she’s seemed reluctant to let things go.  The people are great though and, assuming the job offer is right, I am thinking of staying.  We’ll see.

Since I’ve been staying in a hotel I’ve  had the chance to watch a lot of television.  I’ve come to a decision.  I don’t need cable.  Sure I’d like to see Deadliest Catch, Naurto, Dirty Jobs and Survivor Man but being subjected, even for a few seconds, to Rock of Love, Flavor of Love and the like is enough to make me rather go without.

My sister has asked that I take some photos of the town and such.  I’ll be doing that soon.  I promise.  Watch for more posts kids.

I love Kentucky almost as much as I love Tennessee. I used to take periodic trips up to Lexington to see my friends Mel and Lance but hadn’t been in a while. They got married a few months ago and I made the journey north to attend.

While there I got to visit with some people I’d gone to college with; Chris, Stormie and Adrian. I got to see Stevie and Tilly and of course Mel and Lance. A good time was had by all.

I’ve kicked the idea of moving to Kentucky around over the past year. Things at work are going really well for me but my personal life really sucks. I could transfer to Kentucky without too much trouble and probably get a promotion in the process. At the same time though, I’m scared to death to step out into the unknown, the Bluegrass State.

Here are some pics from the trip to KY.