What’s great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coca Cola, Liz Taylor drinks Coca Cola, and just think, you can drink Coca Cola, too. A coke is a coke and no amount of money can get you a better coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the cokes are the same and all the cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it.

- Andy Warhol

Here’s a Sunday Sampler…cause I’m lazy.

• David Sop has some great baby handling tips that are posted here.
• Dan Quayle has a reputation for being a moron thanks to a disrespectful punk kid at a grade school. He didn’t however quip that he’d wished he’d studied Latin in school so he could have spoken to people on his tour of South America.  Check out the true story of how this came to be (boring) and some actual Dan Quayle quotes that helpe’d him solidify his reputation for being an idiot.
• As long as we’re talking about Latin, check out the Handy Latin page over at the MIT website.

That’s it kids. I promise I’ll do better. I’m also posting over at the other site too.

I went on Obama’s website and he had pumpkin carving stensels. Once you’ve reached that level organizationally you know you’ve arrived.

and

He ran a six hundred million dollar business for over a year!

I’m getting scared.

Bart: Why don’t you go pick on someone smaller and weaker?

Jimbo: Yeah.  Let’s go down to Sunshine Preschool and wail on some toddlers.

Kerny: We can sneak up on them while they’re napping.

Later, Bart and Nelson were sitting on a bluff together.

Nelson: I like to come up here and make fun of the sunset.  Hey Gas Ball; You suck!

At the end as Nelson rode away on his bike he turned around to Bart and said: “Ha Ha; I touched your heart!”

• AllSimps.com has what appears to be a complete collection of Simpsons Episodes. Though they say they don’t host the files, I’m sure it’ll only be a matter of time before they get the dreaded cease and desist letter. I just finished watching one of my all time favorite episodes, Catch ‘em if You Can, from season fifteen. Here are a few favorite lines.

Bart: Wicca is just a Hollywood Fad.
Lisa: That’s kabbalah jerk!

Here’s another:

“Take a hike you Shatner stealing Mexico touchers.” – Canadian Coast Guard to US Coast Guard.

• This site has a very impressive collection of quotes from the Tick animated series that used to air on Comedy Central. You can find entire episodes without too much effort on YouTube or Google Video. Some favorites quotes:

Gravity is a harsh mistress.

You’re not going crazy. You’re going sane in a crazy world!

I’m betting that I’m just abnormal enough to survive.

Well once again we find that clowning and anarchy don’t mix.

Y’know, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can’t let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don’t cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspapaer of justice! Bad dog! Bad dog! And you don’t do it for money. No! You do it for love! You know, I’ve learned something this week… on justice and on friendship, there is no price. But there are established credit limits.

You know, come to think of it, I’m not afraid of ants. I never was. It’s just when they all come running out of a lady’s pants like that… yech, creepy. And isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, ooh ooh ooh, the sky is the limit!

Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once! Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope! And you’ve got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception!

That’s it for this week.

“To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.”?? – Gustave Flaubert

“We are shaped by our thoughts, we become what we think.”? – Buddha

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”? – Groucho Marx

“We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”?? -?? Will Rogers

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”? – Oscar Wilde

“No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.”? – Michael Pritchard

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” – Mark Twain

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.” – Woody Allen

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“I date this girl for two years — and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’” – Mike Binder

“When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.” – Steven Wright

“When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, ‘Do what you like now’.” – Leo Tolstoy

Berlusconi is the worlds 25th richest person with an estimated 12 billion US dollars.? He helped found the Center-right party which won a majority in the 1994 elections just a few months after the party came into being.? He was elected Prime Minister but failed to hold his government together but was elected again in 2001.

Berlusconi made headlines with sensational quotes.? His ramblings covered everything from Jesus Christ to Italian history.? To see him off we’ve collectd some of the best blurbs we could find.

“I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone, I sacrifice myself for everyone.”

“Italy is now a great country to invest in… today we have fewer communists and those who are still there deny having been one. Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries… superb girls.”

“Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini used to send people on vacation in internal exile.”

“(I am) the best political leader in Europe and in the world.”

“Parma is synonymous with good cuisine. The Finns don’t even know what prosciutto is. I cannot accept this.”

I’m not going to go into all my thoughts on Bill Bryson here. I will say that while I like most of his works, I don’t think I’d like him as a person very much. He seems arrogant and prejudice and can’t keep his politics to himself. But I do keep reading him because of jewels like this:

Only the day before in Maine I had seen a sign in a McDonald’s offering a starting wage of five dollars an hour. Harvey must have been immensely moronic and unskilled – doubtless both – not to be able to keep pace with a sixteen-year-old burger jockey at McDonald’s. Poor guy! And on top of that here he was married to a woman who was slovenly and indiscreet, and had a butt like a barn door. I hoped old Harvey had sense enough to appreciate all the incredible natural beauty with which God had blessed his native state because it didn’t sound as if He had blessed Harvey very much. Even his kids were ugly as sin. I was half tempted to give one of them a clout myself as I went out the door. There was just something about his nasty little face that made you itch to smack him. – Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent, pg 165