Dec 10
This guy built his own Segway for what he says was about half the cost. My favorite line from his description:
There is no redundancy or backup system. It is not even robustly made. Loose wires literally dangle out the bottom. In the fairly likely event of the software crashing, a wire coming loose, a component failing, or the batteries running low, the wheels will stop and the entire kinetic energy of the system will be used to accelerate my head toward the ground.
Mar 10
I used to hate math but the older I get the more I see the attraction of a system of rules and logic that make for predictable solutions. My job has forced me to embrace math in ways I’d never imagined possible. I’m responsible for making sure all the numbers line up; financials, performance indicators and staffing all rest on my shoulders and all boil down to equations in a spreadsheet. Maybe I should say I heart Excel….
My improved relationship with the mathematics has influenced my sense of humor as well. I actually get some of the math jokes in XKCD comics, I used a math joke in my Facebook status update the other day (Jeremy is thinking of a number between Absolute 0 and the square root of -1) and, though not really math, I think Craig Damrauer’s New Math site is one of the funniest websites I’ve ever seen.
Selected favorites:
Layed off = It’s not you, it’s me + Job
Nepotism = Who’s your daddy / Ability
Brunch = Breakfast + Lunch + Cantaloupe
Good Dog = Bark / Bite
Bad Dog = Bite / Bark
Uncle = Dad + Fun
Credit Card = I can’t afford it – I can’t afford it
Good Meeting = (Time Saved / Time Wasted) + Snacks
Bad Meeting = (Time Wasted / Time Saved) + Snacks
Car Jacking = Can I borrow your car? – No you can’t
Life Insurance = God Forbid + Jackpot!
Feb 17
Stuart Slann traveled from Australia to Mexico to see his favorite football (soccer) team, Manchester United play in a match. At his hotel Stuart met two Liverpool fans who, as their final point in the debate over which team was superior, tossed poor Stuart into the hotel’s swimming pool.
Months later, back home in Australia, Stuart began chatting up a woman named Emma on Facebook. After months of suggestive emailing back and forth the two decided to meet. Stuart drove 600km to meet her but she never arrived.
After waiting for three hours Stuart received a call on his mobile; it was the same gentlemen who’d tossed him into the drink in Mexico. “Remember us?” the asked, “We’re the Scouse lads who threw you in the pool. You’ve been framed!”
There was no Emma and to make matters worse for Stuart, the Liverpool fans posted recordings of the conversations he’d had with “Emma” online where Mrs. Slann found them. Divorce proceedings have begun.
Link to Yahoo.au
Feb 05
Bill Gates, long time passive evil doer is no longer a sleeper cell. In what can only be described as a mediocre coming out as a Super Villain, Bill Gates released a jar of mosquitoes into a crowd of conference goers.
I brought some. Here; I’ll let them roam around. There’s no reason only poor people should get malaria.
Held hostage in the conference, FaceBook senior platform manager Dave Morin managed to post a cry for help on Twitter.
Bill Gates just released mosquitoes into the audience at TED.
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation assures the public that the mosquitoes were actually malaria free. I’m left to wonder though; When will Bill’s terrorist ambitions be out of beta? When is Mosquito Majave going to launch?
Source: Fox News
Feb 02
Sort of…I guess. Whatever. Don’t force your days of the week on me.
- …you love being popular.
- …I love my ex.
- Golden Girls
- Mr. T pities fools
- I’m still torn on family guy but this is funny.
- And while it’s normally not funny at all, Lio was brilliant today. I put the comic after the jump, just to be obnoxious.
Continue Reading »
Jan 11
I can’t believe it’s been over a week since my last post. I was doing so well!
Here’s a Sunday Sampler…cause I’m lazy.
- David Sop has some great baby handling tips that are posted here.
- Dan Quayle has a reputation for being a moron thanks to a disrespectful punk kid at a grade school. He didn’t however quip that he’d wished he’d studied Latin in school so he could have spoken to people on his tour of South America. Check out the true story of how this came to be (boring) and some actual Dan Quayle quotes that helpe’d him solidify his reputation for being an idiot.
- As long as we’re talking about Latin, check out the Handy Latin page over at the MIT website.
That’s it kids. I promise I’ll do better. I’m also posting over at the other site too.
Dec 31
Lately the discussion about pirated media and software has fallen out of the headlines. This is a subject that I’ve been following rather closely, not just because I’m a big music fan but also because I firmly believe that, if unchecked, the MPAA and RIAA will eventually succeed in eroding away some pretty basic rights. Here are some recent bits of news.
Earlier this month the RIAA announced that they were ending their practice of suing those they suspected decided had shared music. Although they are not dropping cases they’ve already started, their new approach involves forcing ISPs to threaten disconnecting the service of those who use Bit Torrent sites. I for one think this approach will fail. Since ISPs can’t be held responsible for how their customers use the Internet they really don’t have any vested interest in cutting off service and therefore, revenue.
I found this post today on Max Barry’s blog.
The most famous cases of the RIAA suing end users and the only one to go to trial is that of Jamiee Thomas who was found guilt and ordered to pay the RIAA $222,000 for allegedly having shared 24 songs. Almost a year after the trail the judge, without being petioned by the defense, declaired a mistrail after deciding that simply having music in an open access folder was not a violation of the copyright act. The RIAA recently requested permission to appeal the mistrail decision but the judge denied their request. (Wired.com)
Dec 11
It’s been a long time since I played You Don’t Know Jack. We used to play in my apartment on Brown Avenue in Cleveland so it’s been at least ten years. I did alright, $17,606.
Dec 08
Back in college Rob used to hold a weekly event during the old Wednesday night South Park / Man Show line up. Girls were welcome to stay for South Park but were made to leave during the closing credits because for those thirty minutes a week, at Rob’s house at least, pants were optional.
I was reminded of this by a text message Rachel sent me today
Sitting at McD’s playground, a mom just jumped up and ran into the structure, yelling at her son to “put his pants back on this instant.”
Along those same line, the good folks over at Improve Everywhere do an annual Subway No Pants. That’s the underground trains, not the sandwich shops…that’d be weird.
Dec 07
I know I’ve been no more reliable about posting these days, other than short rants about how I’m trying to upgrade the software. Anyway…
While poking around the web tonight I discovered a web comic written by comedian Scott Meyer, Basic Instructions. Like most of the humor I point out, it is pretty dry stuff. I can’t say everyone will like it.
Here are a few some I really enjoyed.