My sisters have been interviewing their children.  This is my favorite part.

R: Do you like your new house?

A: Yeah, I do…I pooped!

I have been refusing to stop for Wal-Mart Gestapo for years.  On a trip back from Florida once I was even followed into the parking lot by a particularly militant “greeter”.  This guy has the right idea.

A man calls a suicide hotline and discovers that it’s been outsourced to Pakistan.  The man says “I’m thinking of killing myself.”  The man on the other end of the phone says “Do you know how to fly an airplane?”

Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

The following sentence was found in an article on Foxnews.com:

McArthur says she just does wants to make sure nobody else meets the same end she did when she decided to indulging her sweetooth.  

Wow.

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Last night’s episode of The Simpsons had one of the better exchanges I’ve ever heard on the show:

Bart: Why don’t you go pick on someone smaller and weaker?

Jimbo: Yeah.  Let’s go down to Sunshine Preschool and wail on some toddlers.

Kerny: We can sneak up on them why they’re napping.

Later, Bart and Nelson were sitting on a bluff together.

Nelson: I like to come up here and make fun of the sunset.  Hey Gas Ball; You suck!

At the end as Nelson rode away on his bike he turned around to Bart and said: “Ha Ha; I touched your heart!”

Last June I posted about a Shark and Gator that’d been seen hanging out around the parking lot where I work. Though she had nothing to do with the original appearance of Shark and Gator, my friend SS and her boyfriend took the plastic critters into their hearts and home. 

SS recently discovered Stillspinning and saw the post. She brought Shark and Gator to work today and gave them to me. 

I’m pleased as punch to have them.

My mom used to work for Weight Watchers.  One of the members in her classes had a rather insensitive family and, for her birthday, gave her a cookie-bouquet.  Their thoughts were that they’d get to eat the cookies and laugh at her because she couldn’t eat them.  This was not to be.  The cookies were delivered when no one else was home so the woman took them and had the entire bouquet shellacked - so it’d keep.

Nice.

This was in the Sunday comics a few weeks ago.  Click the image for the full strip.  Ever pane is funny.

Is this funny?